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Dear Prospective Employers:

Ravenwald

Ravenwald

New member
This is my depressed, angry, frustrated and generally pissed the **** off list of things I'd like to attach as a cover letter to my next resume. Enjoy the read:

I'd like it a lot if you'd follow my list of **** you should stop or start doing, that way we can all be friends and people can get hired. It's really quite realistic actually, so let's get through this quick so we can all get to being realistic:

1) Stop asking me what my weaknesses are. It's a dumb question you're using to get me to sabotage myself and all it does is make me want to ask you what your weaknesses are to see the dumb **** you say.

2) Stop asking for golden work at 8 dollars an hour. You wanna pay like ****? Expect **** for your trouble.

3) Stop hiring part time as a benefits dodge. Really, stop being so ****ing cheap. I've had it with this. It ought to be outlawed.

4) This one's really easy. Stop asking me to come back for a 2nd or 3rd interview. If you talked to me once, what're you going to get out of the next 2 times. These screening interviews are stupid and waste valuable time and resources I could put jumping into a competing company's wagon.

5) Realize that I'm looking at multiple places. Honestly, if another company pays better, I'll sell you up the river and go work for them. Why not? After all, if you found a guy to do my job for 2 dollars less an hour, you'd sell my ass up the river and hire him. Is it so shocking that the feeling's mutual?

6) I won't lie for you. I don't care how much you pay me, I don't lie to people just to make a sale. I've been screwed in that manner in the past, and I'm not about to pay that forward.

7) I really do work hard. I worked for one of the top shipping companies in the world and did so at a breakneck pace Monday through Friday, 52 weeks a year and never took a day off that wasn't a company holiday. I'm really what you want, but if you'd stop asking stupid questions and start asking me how I'd cope with the actual work, you'd realize that.


This has been my list of **** I wish my employers would stop or start doing. I wanted to share it with you guys before I wrote a nicer version to attach to my resume for the next couple job applications. Frankly, I'm so sick of putting in job applications I'm ready to walk in front of a bus, because hey, I can't afford to live on my own. I live in my parents house at ****ing 23 years old, and couldn't get enough money for the life of me to get into college after financial aid falls short because...surprise...I can't find a job. And really I'd rather choose splattering myself on the front of public transportation to letting the rich ****ers of this country turn me into the peasant they've always dreamed of.

Anyway, while I'm off punching the nearest malleable object into nothingness, I hope you'll provide some insight as to why I'm failing miserably to get a job (just things that have worked for you maybe?).

Thanks for reading. Makes me feel better knowing you did.
 


Well, I was willing to work in lesser jobs than my education and work ethic deserved until I succeeded. Nothing was beneath me, cleaning toilets, digging graves, frying fish, folding laundry, weedwacking, didn't matter. Hard work and a positive attitude pay off and people/employers appreciate the good help.

I also received some good advice one time from an old man...he said education and experience don't matter much and the bottom line is "Does that person (employer) like you?" My work experiences since then have proven that to be oh so true.

I think I hit a little bit of a lull now because I didn't get the last promotion I tried for. And when I look at my environment I realize there are a couple of people above me right now that don't seem to like me. Imagine that.

Perhaps my input will help you.
 
I know how you feel man. I interviewed and sent resumes to numerous employers while in school and after i graduated and all of them wanted Experience. I finally told one person you know it's hard to get experience when know one will hire you. It's company's like you that wont take a chance or refuse to train a person that piss me off. You would think a company would like a person with a fresh clean slate that they can form into their ways. I contracted for 8 months on and off before i got a steady job doing what I do now.
 
Multiple interviews suck - nobody should ever need more than two, ttttttttops.

There is little sense in settling for an employer whose conscience and values do not approximate your own. You won't be happy. On the other hand, it beats starving. There's no shame in grinding out a sh*t job for that 1 year of "experience" you need to get a career - many people are pretty much forced into it. (pro tip: grocery stores can take up to a month to cash a check) You likely won't pay off your loans right away: Work the system to pay as little as possible now so you can save up to get a place where you can get better-paying work if necessary.

Regarding that stupid "greatest weakness" question (which part of me believes should make you stand up and walk out of an interview), I just came up with a homework assignment for you:

I want you to order some business cards. Nothing fancy, just simple and neat. The stipulation is that on the back, you must have printed, "Sometimes my over-preparedness comes off as cockiness." This is what you will silently and confidently slide across a desk to an interviewer, without breaking eye contact, when they ask about your greatest weakness.
 
The reason they ask all the stupid questions is usually dependent on the type of job you're applying for.

For instance, if you were applying for a a position that would require public speaking, They would be paying attention to how long it takes you to answer and whether your answers were believable or appropriate.

Typically if the questions don't seem to apply to you, they're not focusing so much on the content of your answer but rather your behavior and personality etc. There's a lot more science and statistics to the employee selection process than most people would imagine.
 


J GTP said:
if you were applying for a a position that would require public speaking, They would be paying attention to how long it takes you to answer and whether your answers were believable or appropriate.
Click to expand...

That's a good point. I've never been asked, but I work in IT. I don't feel like it's much of an appropriate question in the field - at least for the stuff I do. I can see it being a thing for Sales or HR or something.

I remember back in college, I had a roommate that was a music industry and recording major trying to intern at a radio station. He scored a phone interview and they asked him that question. He took about seven minutes fumbling around to timidly answer... and it was something to the tune of "I need positive reinforcement to be happy" or something like that. He was utterly shocked that he didn't get the job.
 
I also work in IT and got asked the weakness question in the interview for my current job.

My answer was "Swedish Fish."

The HR lady chuckled and then specified "in the workplace" but I replied the same. Looking back, it was stupid and I should've taken it more seriously but I couldn't think of anything that sounded good. Whatever though, I got the job.
 
I can totally relate to #2. The place I work at now expects you to pretty much get on your knees for the customers and make there experience so good they come back again. I can understand that, however most of our customers are total pricks who talk down to me and treat me like trash. I'm surprised I still have a tongue I bite mine so hard trying not to yell at people. We even had a lady throw her coffee at the store window not to long ago because we were out of f***ing half and half, in front of her kids too!! It was so hard for me not to go outside and throw her coffee at her brand new escalade as she drove off. All I was thinking to myself was this is not worth $9.75 an hour.
 
My favorite is and if and if anyone can tell me the reason for this question I will be eternally grateful Hey man hang in there I'll say a prayer. "Star Wars or Star trek?" and when I say Star trek I hear "Picard or Kirk and why?" I mean what the hell is that about and the stupid questions that even a brain dead man knows there is only one answer to; "If you knew someone stealing from the company on a regular I mean something major like a PC or copy machine would you tell us?" Whether I would or would not you I will answer yes here everyone would, or on that tell me your weakness question you know damn well I am going to say; "I guess its that I work too hard sometimes, I can't stand to see a job half finished even if I have to stay a little longer to do it." We are all going to say that. Hang in there buddy I been there I'll say a prayer for ya
 
Funny that after posting all this I'd get a call from Dr. Pepper Snapple Group today, asking me for an interview tomorrow at 10:30AM. This is a job I'm perfectly qualified for, so there shouldn't be any stupid questions during the interview.

We'll see how it goes.
 


Words of advice a old friend told me once...In this day and age you have to be able to do what the average person refuses to do to get ahead in life!
 
I can tell you my weaknesses as an employee easily.

You should know them if you wish you understand yourself and wish to improve upon it.
 
Welcome to life is basically what I have to say, especially in this time. This is probably the 2nd worst economy since the 1929 depression, we as young people are in an unbelievably ****ty situation. It's frustrating, yes. I know exactly the feeling. I'm still living at home as well, and it makes me want to pull(what's left of) my hair out. It took me over a year to find a real job after graduating from school, and I went through too much of the interviewing and applying process than I'd like to remember. I'm not sure if you were serious about attaching a "nicer" version of this thread to your resume, but if I were you I'd advise against it. Whoever you send that to will open it, read 2 words of it...and toss it(along with your resume) into the trash.

99% of every interview with any real job is going to be like this, and every one that I've been on in the last 2 years has been. Especially in this economy...the economy is in the ****ter, people aren't spending money...therefore businesses aren't making as much. They're not going to offer you the best salary, and many companies are doing away with certain benefits options and packages in order to save money..which is crappy.

At my current job I interviewed twice, and waited for almost 2 months for them to review me before I finally started. Employers don't normally just browse through your resume and bring you in for 1 interview so they can get a general perspective of who you are and what you're about.

If you were an employer looking for someone for a job, would you be satisfied with that? They interview at times dozens and dozens of applicants, they need as much information with pros/cons as they can get so they'll pick what they think is the right choice to work for them. It's not worth their time or money to hire someone with whom they only have a slight hint of their work ethic and personality. More often than not that person will end up quitting, and now they're back to square one.

Just have to hang in there, I know how mind numbing and methodical it gets after such a long period of time. The job will come, I was beginning to think it wouldn't for me.
 
The one i hate is...I've interviewed alot of people for this job and have alot of promising candidates why should i pick you...
 


My interview today was pretty much the best one I've ever had. The guy had no stupid questions, described the work, asked me questions about it, seemed like he was listening to my responses and generally made me feel like I'd like to have him as my boss. I hope they call me back. I'd like to work for them.

No frills, no bull****, no problem. I nailed that one as it stands.
 
i hate when the interviewer asks the same question and just phrases it differently. i also hate when the interviewer has an extremely hard to understand accent.
 
Not only are the younger people in a ****ty situation but those youngins pay out the arse for an education. And when you graduate and can't find anything over $10/hr, your student loans go in the ****ter(if you have any), and o yeah that's right......YOU CAN'T FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY!! Not saying bankruptcy is a good thing by any means but at the same time student loans are unsecured just like credit cards. Where's the justice? I probably went off on a tangent but yeah that's my two cents.
 
04trbogp said:
Not only are the younger people in a ****ty situation but those youngins pay out the arse for an education. And when you graduate and can't find anything over $10/hr, your student loans go in the ****ter(if you have any), and o yeah that's right......YOU CAN'T FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY!! Not saying bankruptcy is a good thing by any means but at the same time student loans are unsecured just like credit cards. Where's the justice? I probably went off on a tangent but yeah that's my two cents.
Click to expand...

No. You're quite right. It's complete ****. Bear this in mind: Any time you can find a way to nab grant money, do it. You're entitled to it as much as any other student. All young people, myself included, are getting shafted pretty freakin' hard in one way or another. I had to wait till I was 23 to start college because I couldn't get in any other way. My parents made too much money and still couldn't afford to give me much for college, what with my stepfather's medical bills (even with insurance).
 
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