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Why chicken wings should be illegal

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mlambert

mlambert

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[rant]

So, I just got home from the gym. I figured I would grab something easy before I collapsed into my post workout coma.

You would think chicken wings would be alright, wouldn't you? But no. Everything has to be freakin difficult.

So I'm famished. It takes only a couple of minutes to heat these bad boys up. Yeah, for food, I think as I extract them from the microwave.

Wrong. Now I have to dissect them. First the skin. Then the bones. So I expend about 1000 calories fighting with my food for the whole 150 calories or so worth of meat I got off of them.

This of course was after I returned from the gym whose brilliant manager decided to install new speed bumps in the parking lot elevated about 30 inches off the ground for my lowered car to scrape over. Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape.

Guess how many curse words I know. I used them all tonight.

[/rant]
 


That's what women are for. There should have been a freshly cooked meal when you opened the door !

As for the speed bumps... I feel your pain, cracked my front lip on my Integra the other day :(
 
So you're saying I need to get a woman to de-skin my chicken wings and cook for me? Hmmmm. Lemme contemplate that a minute.
 


Okay, I thought about it. I can't get a woman. I don't like too many that are on this planet. Unless there was one that fits inside a dog cage so I could occasionally stab her in the head with a pitchfork for my personal amusement.

And if I got the turbo, wouldn't the GTP get angry with me for swapping out the SC?
 
I don't know. Hooters usually has pretty good size Chicken Wings, not a whole lot fighting with those puppies.

Plus the "sites" are pretty nice there too to take away from any distractions the hotwings might cause ;)
 




I just re-read this and realized how funny it was, after reading it and seeing how many people thought you were a guy.
 
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