HELP! Warning lights aplenty

[cmw1876]

2008 Pontiac Grand Prix GXP (5.3L V8)

On the way in this morning my information center started throwing messages at me:

Traction Control Off
Service Stability Control
Reduce Engine Power

Then my check engine light came on and yea, I had ZERO acceleration.

First time I've seen this, anyone have any thoughts/suggestions?!

 

[Bio248]

the car's in limp mode. how it got there? hmm..

 

[cmw1876]

How do I get out of it? Viagra? LOL