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Good Come-backs for Unruly Customers?

What I would do.... if you have a female coworker like a couple aisles down, yell "YO BABY!!! YOU EVER HAD YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED OUT BY A FATMAN IN AN OVERCOAT?"



/end rant.
 


Just say "Sir can you kindly leave before I end up back in anger management classes"


I'm in the auto industry and every now and then I have to use the line "it might be a loose nut behind the wheel" some people get it, once I had to physically get them into their car and make them look in the rear view mirror.
 
99% of the time if you lower your tone of voice and speak reasonably and clearly they will calm down after realizing what kind of a moron they sound like. We always kill em with kindness, works much better in the long run.
 




I stare at them blankly. My blank stare has been known to disconcert people and I really would want the guy to feel like he's not making any progress. Then when he calms down and asks something nicely, or speaks with an indoor voice, I start talking to him about his problem. He screams again, I go silent. Rinse and repeat for desired effect.
 
Kill em with kindness, they hate that. Or just make the most god awful face you can and just stay like that, don't move talk, or anything. If that doesn't work...just walk away. Seriously tho, Its never a good idea to stoop to their level. It shows ur maturity and professionalism doesn't matter what field.let them continue with their bad mood, and chances are once they calm down at home, they'll be so embarrassed that they prob wont come back. But politely hold your ground, because most ppl think that kind of behavior will get them better results or free stuff.
 
How about; "Do you realize that in the time we had to spend on your unruliness we could have finished that customer and you and you could have been half way home by now." Or "Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the floor this morning?" or (to another employee) "Careful I don't know if he has been wormed yet" or "Just keep talking so I'll know what you're not thinking." and my favorite "Sir whats the matter, did your dad not play ball with you enough when you were a child or does your wife were the pants in the family at home so you feel you have to be the center of attention or were you just born an ass." and last but not least "I am trying to help you but you won't stop long enough for me to do that so lets start over and if not, Hell the last assualt charge wasn't so bad and I learned a whole lot of things in prison so I won't get caught again."
 
1) I use to give them the number/e-mail information for corporate, the store number, and my name to file a report with corporate... Most are too lazy and ignorant to write a coherent letter addressing their concerns + I didn't care about $7 an hour service sector job. Overworked and underpayed... And I was excellent at my job apparently...

2) I tell them several economic reasons why the customer is not always right while relating to their own work experience + the history/origin of the saying... Many customers attempted to get over/scam us into getting free stuff. We blacklisted them if they received something free more than once without reasonable cause.

3) When someone would complain about my employees and I knew the customer was wrong I would tell the customer I am going to have a stern talk with the employee and would get so heated that my last words would be about firing them... At this point they would attempt to ameliorate the situation since they didn't want to get anyone fired and suddenly felt guilty... Or if they wanted them fired I would make a scene, but the employee was never actually fired. Of course crappy employees would be layed off or fired...

4) I had a ridiculous customer who belittled me and my employees saying that hes a big shot... He basically attempted to get me fired because the service wasn't up to his standard. He was then banned from the store. Some customers you don't want to keep and some employees you can't afford to lose...
 


"Sorry Sir, U-scans are for our more advanced shoppers. We have clerks to help out the "special" customers."
 
"allow me to call a black and white taxi for you, the driver will give you all the service you need and explain what disturbing the peace is"
 
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