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The day I felt like a theif

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Damojo2003

New member
Since I graduated college in 2000 my grandfather and I got pretty close. I tell everyone that we went full circle this summer. I was working on my car doing something and he was sitting there watching me. I stopped and said I have to get something from down stairs in the basement. I go through his tools and find a hammer some nails and got some scrap wood. Started a nail in the wood like he used to do for me when I was like 5 and proceeded up the stairs to where he was sitting and I handed him the wood and went back to doing what I was doing. About 5 minutes goes by and he asked me what I need this for. I told him that is for him to play with. You gave me that when I was young and now it is your turn.

In the past 2 years or so he has been very protective of his stuff to everyone. Especially his tools that he aquired through the years. Except when it came to me, he always said if there is anything I need to take it. I never did because I could not accept that one day he would no longer be with us.

About 3 weeks about he went back into the hospital and his colon cancer has grown. After further tests, they discovered that it has spread to his liver and lungs. They discussed surgery, but he would not survive. Chemo therapy he will not do anymore. So now I have to accept that he is going to pass. They give him about 6 months to live. It took me a while to accept this, but now I do feel a little better now.

A few days ago when I stopped into see him my aunt was there and I remembered that my grandfather is afraid that when he passes her husband (no relation and he is an asshole) will take everything from the house. I spoke to him and he told me to take everything that I would need to maintain a house that I will soon buy.

Yesterday was the day that I actually felt like a theif. No one was to know I was there. I went down to the basement and emptied drawers and drawers of stuff. He used to work for general electric in the tool room and believed that when you ordered something for the employee that the company should always have a spare and 1 for him. SO I have a tap and die set for bolts and pipes that has to be well over 100 peices, pipe wrenches including a 18" long adjustable copper wrench, hole saws, drills and bits...pretty much everything that I saw that I could leave with that day. The beater car is full. I left the table saw. I don't have a place to store that, but I will ask him anyways. I still have to go back and unbolt a pipe holder and grinder that is bolted to his work bench. It was a hard day, but I hope it sets his mind at ease that the asshole will never get the things that he felt was valuable to him.

That is my story to tell for a while
 


sorry to hear about your grandfather.
and I kinda know where your comming from, my papa was a machinest all his life, and when he died last spring I had to sell all of his tools to keep the family from fiching over them. the money was put into an account for my grandmother so she can contunue to be indepent.

My deapest condoliences to you and your family.
 
Sorry for the bad news,i kinda went through something like that when my grand dad passed...Some a55hole in the family that most of us never saw before,took all the guns that i was sposed to get left to me.Including but not limited to one of the very first browning pistols ever made that my G dad got in Belgium during world war 2.Get everything he wants u to have as soon as u can.The wolves will be in packs to take what they can when the time comes.
 
Both my parents are alive, and they've made a bit of light of the fact that my sisters and brother and I go "shopping" at their house for stuff. We've all put in "claims" on items. Sometimes it does feel a little weird and sad, knowing that I'm getting the items because they will eventually be gone.

Luckily, we are all on good terms so there won't be conflicts. My parents have also let us all know some items then want to go to particular children. Some stuff they have already handed out, but other stuff we know who gets what. Obviously it works out a bit better for us since there is no conflict. It's one less thing that I will have to be concerned with when my parents do die.
 
Sorry to hear that Damojo. I watched my Grandfather die of Cancer (prostate) (we had our ups and downs over the years, but were very close when he passed) and its not anything I would ever wish on anyone...its a long, hard, painful road...All I can say is DON'T let him die in a hospital. LET HIM DIE AT HOME where he feels comfortable and SAFE...we did with my grandfather and I know he appreciated it...check into hospice care at home. I know in the end the hospice care my grandmother used just told her there is nothing more we can do for him or you and to keep coming is only costing you money unnecessarily. They explained how and when to give him the Morphine patches to keep him comfortable. he died a couple days later...I miss my Grandfather a lot....thankfully I still have my grandmother and we talk often about him...and there are no jerk relatives to worry about...but I have known others in your situation. Either way Don't feel like a thief...your not...your the protector of his things and I know he is glad he was able to give them to you....Enjoy and make the most of the precious time you have left with him and graciously accept anything else he offers to give you for safe keeping.
 


Sorry to hear about your grandfather. My dad is going through treatments now for throat cancer and my grandfather died of lung cancer. Me and my grandfather weren't close, but hung out here and there so I can't say I know what your going through. Just enjoy what time you have left with him the best you can.
 
sorry to hear about your gramps condition, but at the very least you two over the past months bonded and thats something both of you can take t heart and remember by.
 
I can totally feel what you're saying. My grandparents are the world to me, I had a pretty tough childhood with divorced parents...won't really get into that. They took me in, and pretty much raised me from the time I was 4 years old, until I had a good enough job to buy my house at 18. I'm probably more close to them than my dad (who I still talk to), and I don't feel like I visit them as much as I should. I have a family now that I need to take care of like they did for me, and my time is just not enough to split up.

My grandmother has been in the hospital off and on since the first of November....and I can't really bear to think of what would happen to me mentally if something happened to her. But she still does her best to keep me up beat, and I try to put on a front to smile back at her. I'm glad that you cherish the time with him, because he might be the most honest man you'll ever know.
 
thats deep dude im glad u saved his stuff from that asshole u talk bout and i bet ur gpa is way happier seeing his grandson with his stuff and u succeedin in life. im glad that atleast some1 stull has g-pa's =[
 
Its hard to loose people you love. I don't like to talk about my family life much, but i haven't had grandparents since 1995. Course my parents had me later in life and they were in there 80s when they passed.

My dad has been in bad health lately. He's 70 and I can't imagine what I would do if something happened. I try not to think about it or even talk about to anyone, not even my girl. I keep on going and try to do good things for him. I plan on doing some repairs to his car starting tomorrow morning.

Gotta keep rolling...
 


It really gets hard when my mom starts talking about leaving me the house and land, My brothers get this and my sister gets that. It nothing you want to hear from someone you love. My heart goes out to everyone here that is going through a rough time or has. You are all in my prayers.
 
I'm really sorry to hear about your grndpa. My grandma kinda did the same thing w me tho shetold me to put my name on anything i wanted and i would get it when she died. But my aunt let her sons and grandkids go through the things first before anything else and they got what they wanted even tho other names were on it. i still got her charm bracelet even tho some family members took most of the charms off of it it still had her favorite one on it and i still wear it. But you should feel better that you are gettingwhat he wants you to have and noone else. people get greedy when someone dies and it's really sad.
 
That really pisses me off when they do that. It's almost like they're counting down the days so the can take what ever they wnt. To me they are the real theives.
 
My aunt (his daughter) already wanted to go in and take all his living room furniture. You really see how people during times like this. I will never forget how my family is being during these times
 
I'm sorry to hear that...trying to take his things before he is gone is just WRONG unless he is the initiating the offering of them to someone. I think if I had to deal with that I would tell them I want no part in it and will have nothing to do with them in the future if they continue...no calls, no visits, no kids playing together etc...but thats me...to each their own.
 


Dont feel bad. things happen for a reason. what ever that reason may be. I felt really bad while reading it, as I am in the same boat with my only Grandpa left.
 
my g-pa (moms dad) passed of leukemia almost 20 years back.(i'm 37) he was one hell of a dude, into his 70's still dating woman in their 40's, he never had any tools, but what he did have that i carry with me to this day was an outlook on life, he loved to cook, (so do I) and he was probably one of the first metrosexuals ever in excistance, meticulas to keeping his hair and wardrobe perfect, he bought a new buick every two years, and waxed it frequantly while maintaining his bronze tan... yes he was an avid bachelor (divorcee).... all of this is just to describe him, what i'm trying to say is that for the rest of your life his lessons you will carry with you, every time you use his tools he will be working with you....
one day my old man will pass, he is the ultimate fix it guru...king of redneck engineering, whenever i fix something i know it's from him i gained this ability... to this day he will still get up on my roof and fix shingles with me even thought he's well into his sixties, and these are days i cherish because as we all know they are limited... i also always ask him for advice even when i don't need it, because it gives me an excuse to share time with him.... he's old school, a biker, and never once has told me he loved me... but i know he does....
 
Damojo, I feel your pain bro. It's good to see someone who knows the true meaning and value of life such as yourself. The part about your story where you gave him the wood and a nail, tells him that you use your head and that he means a lot to you.

My uncle died of cancer in 05 and just before he found out he had it we started to get close again. I graduated Boot Camp and at that time due to me not being able to go home, my dad brought the camcorder and I recorded a little hello and sent some love to him (knowing that it would be my last). About 3 weeks later he passed. I think about him a lot, especially when I'm fishing. We fished together a lot. I am glad of the memories I have with him and I will not forget him.
 
Well, I am saddened to say that my grandfather faded faster than we all thought. He passed away the monday before christmas. Before he passed, I took everything that I thought I would ever need and then some. I received a call this morning from my father that my uncle (the asshole) was looking for 2 things, the drill press that I have and the ladder that my father has. When I heard that he was loking for something that I had I could not help myself but laugh. According to my aunt that my grandfather wanted him to have the drill press, but I knew and my father knew that my grandfather wanted him to have nothing. I was asked to say I don't know anything about it. I don't think I can do that. Yesterday after the funeral we were at the American Legion, were my grand father and I had a few drinks from time to time, for some food after the mass. My aunt wants a picture of all the grand children. We are all standing there waiting from my brother and the a$$hole says outloud referring to my wife "what is she doing there? She is not a grandchild." Little does he know that he has reffered to her as her granddaughter for years.

I did one thing that day that seemed to shock my family. I knew where my grandfather always sat at the bar. I poured him his diet coke and placed the drink where he would have kept it and I sat where I normally would when I was there. I drank my soda and left. I got back to my seat and I my wife asked me where I was and if everything was ok. I told he I had my last drink with grandpa and my mom overheard, so I told her what exactly I did. A litle later a bunch of us walked through the room where the bar was and I showed my wife where he sat. My uncle from minnesota was shocked that I knew where he sat and that we drank together from time to time.

It seems that most of my family did not understand that he just wanted company from time to time and I think the missed out on a great guy
 
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