• The site migration is complete! Hopefully everything transferred properly from the multiple decades old software we were using before. If you notice any issues please let me know, thanks! Also, I'm still working on things like chatbox, etc so hopefully those will be working in the next week or two.

here is my story.

reinke

reinke

New member
SORRY BUT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOME STUFF.

i was diagnosed wiht a spinal disease a few month ago called ankylosing spondylitis. my spine is fusing together. it is making me crippled and this disease WILL kill me. i was given 10 years at the very most. i was recently diagnosed (december 20th) with bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, manic depression, and sleep apneah. i have been feeling lazy and not normal the last few month so i went to see a shrink. she ran some tests and our 1 hour session turnder into a over night stay because of the stuff i told her. i have honestly thought about killing myself a few times a day for the last year. my health keeps getting worse and i feel that all the meds i am taking are not haleping. currently i am taking enbrel for my spine, seroquel for the bipolar, darvocet for everyday pain, and orizac for the anxiety disorder. they are all downers and i know this is not healthy. i recently got married on december
10th. i have a 2 year old son named Logan. he is definitely the only reason i am here right now. i wake up everyday in extreme pain and i rarely have a good attitude when i first wake up and i feel worse and worse everyday knowing my son sense's that. i am a stay at home dad because of how bad my back has gotten. that sucks too. my wife works 40+ hours at her full time job and 20+ hours at her part time per week just to pay for everything.i can go on and on but i doubt any one is gonna read this and if they do they wont care so i will just stop here unless people want me to keep going another day.
 


I feel your pain, my brothers friend was also diagnosed with an autoimmune (not sure what though) he was pretty much my idol when I was younger. Suicide may go through your mind but trust me it doesn't solve anything, you want to live as long as you can for your family and friends . Just hang in there, you should see your doctor to see if there is any other meds/anything you can do to get yourself off anything that isn't 100% required to take.

We are here for you buddy, don't take the easy way out.
 
X2 on the suicide bit.

Don't go that route. My Dad tried to do that my Freshman year at High School. I know things might be bad but you gotta think...the others you might hurt by taking your own life. You got a wife and a kid man. Stick with it and be there for them. They need you as much as you need them.

Likewise...just vent here if you have too. We'd listen...
 
X3. It's better to talk it out and not keep it bottled up inside. I am sure that if you need to talk and don't want to do it openly, you can pm any one of us and we will listen. I know I will. Just think of your family. Especially your son. We are here for you.
 
After having my daughter it messed me up BIG time! I was only 15 and so my body was like WTF is going on!! (lol) The doc put me on Effexor XR. I took for 1yr and got off of it. When I was going threw my divorce I got back on it. It worked VERY well for me. Its not a downer at all!!! It gives you LOTS of energy. Maybe you should ask your doc about it. The only thing that is a downfall is it has a "Sexual Side effect" (sorry if its To much info butt) in my case I could not get..umm...satisfy. But I was happy and not wanting to hurt myself...so it was worth it. EFFEXOR XR®: A Depression and Anxiety Disorders Treatment here is a link. And like everyone else said VENT AWAY!!! That is prolly the best thing ever!!!
 
Hey Reinke, sorry to read all that man. Hang in there, and make those 10 years you have the best 10 years of your life. Spend valuable time with your son and wife so that someday when you are gone, they will remember what a great father and husband you were. There is nothing more precious than family, and like Nick said above, they need you just as much as you need them. You need anything or just an ear, don't hesitate to drop me a line.

Jay
 


Damn dude,i cant say i understand but thats gotta be hard to deal with.Hang in there man,when things get bad think about ur son.Ive never had to deal with anything this serious but my kids always kept me moving forward and hoping for the best.I wish u the best of luck...what are they giving u for pain and the depression etc etc?
 
I can't say that i totally understand either but I know that it must be rough to deal with. You just gotta hang in there for your son and wife if noone else. And I'm sure all of us on here are wlling to talk to you about it or just listen if nothing else. And if you just wanna talk and not post a thread feel free to pm me I can't guarantee I'll be on everyday but I'll be sure to gt back to ya :)
 
i feel your pain man, just hang in there! i don't know where you stand on the idea of prayer, but it can't hurt to try.

either way your in my prayers. you can over come this, nothings impossible!
 
PLEASE do not think that suicide is the answer. Trust me, life is worth living, no matter how bad or hard it may be. Your wife and child need for you to be here with them. Try reaching out to your local church or counseling center. Talk to you doctor. Don't keep your feelings bottled up. Let them out! Please know there are ppl here for you. If you need to talk or someone to vent to, feel free to send me a PM.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top