This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still living.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times
we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and
rekindling a little of that 'old magic.'
I was flabbergasted. 'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now,' I
said, 'I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw
me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have.'
She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the challenge'.
'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline
that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my lack of muscle tone... stuff sagging, my teeth not as white and jowls like a Great Dane!'
She laughed and told me to stop being so grey-haired, older men were cute,
and she was sure I would still be a great lover.
Then she giggled, 'My tits are sagging a little and I've put on quite a bit
of weight myself!'
So I told her to f*ck off.
