I am the stupidest and unluckiest guy on this forum and I'm mad about it.

[eeyan]

My sister is needing a new car for her 17 y/o daughter. she asks that if she gets a cheap one if I can wrench on it and make it driveable and safe. Of course I can and will.

She comes across a 2005 Impala with 120k going for 1,000 due to a "head gasket"

I say yes that's the car. Get it. The 3800 is the only motor I have any real experience with (thanks to this website).

CEL says misfire, and I notice it likes to heat up, PERFECT I think, I'll do the LIM gasket and everything and this $3k car will be big, safe, reliable, and at half cost.

4 days later, after messing with it in my free time after work, it has new LIM, UIM gaskets, freshly cleaned manifold and throttle body (they were nasty), new plug wires and of course new oil.
The previous owner already put in new spark plugs but I could tell he really didn't know a thing about cars and the people who worked on it probably didn't either.

I start it up and notice it's still misfiriing. Just gave it a compression test that didn't look good at all -> Shared album - Ian Oliver - Google Photos

Now I'm realizing I may have the one 3800 in the whole state with a bad head gasket. I thought for sure that was impossible. I am a fool in a man's shoes. I should have double checked everything instead of assuming I knew it all.

[Scottydoggs]

now that sucks......

[SgtMarshal]

just swap the bottom end out

[eeyan]

My options are to tear it down, or swap the whole thing with the motor I've been hanging onto that's in my wrecked '98 GT. Either way, it'll be new territory in my realm of mechanics. *breathe* I can do it.

[BillBoost37]

Can you feel the pressure coming out if you pull the valve cover cap or does it show externally? If not.. you might have the piston in the oil pan mod. Typically you see low pressure from a cylinder with a leak. I have seen zero in the past.. and it was missing the piston. I later located it in the pan.

[eeyan]

That's an interesting one! But no it does pump some pressure if you watch the video long enough. Pumps to 30 then 60 and that's about it.

[Scottydoggs]

could be a bend push rod. kinda rare for a na engine to bend one, unless it was being beaten to hell. take the vc off and spin them, if one is bent you'll know fast. might have to bump the engine over some to get them to spin easy. want the rocker down to have less pressure on the rod.

[eeyan]

Good idea, I'll pull the cover off next time I get a minute. I shoulda done that too anyway. There was a lot of carbon build up in the throttle so mayyybe it's just a bad seat.
I hooked it up to my scanner and it doesn't seem to misfire at all in the upper rpm range. It drives just fine really, only really feels like it's missing at idle.

[eeyan]

Finally ripped the heads off. Found all the missing coolant. and just to make things sweeter, a crack in the head! (cylinder 3, see pic)

So on my current run, the tranny will probably explode around the time it's road worthy again.

[Scottydoggs]

yup, thats a problem head right there.

[bandook]

You going to have them repaired and get 'er going again?

[eeyan]

I'm gonna get a new head from the junkyard. Called them and they said $40 if I pull it, $80 if they have one on the shelf. Then I'll get it resurfaced. Cheaper than a repair from the machine shop