Thread: Hilarious! Lol. Ford focus letter to previous owner.

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  1. #1 Hilarious! Lol. Ford focus letter to previous owner. 
    GrandPrix Junkie Bluemagic's Avatar
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    http://m.jalopnik.com/5978809/a-mess...ustrated-owner

    Hey... it's me Focus ST. Remember? Hah... Yeah, see... You know I woke up this morning, and there was this image of you, of us... the fun we had. I hope this is not inappropriate I just want to talk.
    When we said goodbye, you know, at the retailer... I soon was found by this guy, Greg.

    He had this unique looks, and soon I was in love with him, he took me home, showed me all of his friends. His mother didn't like our relationship, but that was not a problem for him, not for me either, just a little awkward when we had do give her a ride. Turns out that he wasn't just this guy... he had this thing with his friends, I think they called it swag. Because on the first week, I was weighing 200lbs more, just in loudspeakers, subwoofers, amps and stuff. It was nice, we cruised in the suburb, just cruising at night, day... volume on max and we were just cruising, enjoying it. But I think it was already too late for me, because only later it came to me... he was a ricer. It all was fun and games, he spent all his money on me, I was feeling like a goddess, a diva. I was full of chrome jewels, light was shining from all my corners. He took me to a shop and gave me a full body lift. I was feeling fresh, but then it started.

    I felt violated... they opened me, started sticking their... *crying* hands inside of me, messing with my engine. But for some reason, I liked it! I did, but now I don't know why or how this was good! I felt so fresh, so quick. We raced, and raced. I got this new makeup, I had a blue rally stripe across me. It was so wild. I had a big turbo, a intercooler (but that was just for show, it wasn't really connected to anything). I was addicted to it. Soon I was drinking too much, averaging 10mpg, addicted do NOS. A fresh bottle was required every 2 days, and sometimes I needed an upgrade because that wasn't enough. Sometimes I woke up parked on the sidewalk, covered in my own oil! It was horrible! *sobbing* My transmission was killing me. He never learned to clutch properly. He took me to the repair, but that didn't stop this madness...

    Well... I woke up today and remembered the simple life we had... I had my days and probably you already have someone new that makes you happy. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and I miss you. I will probably never be the same. But case you want to meet me, you know my VIN.

    *end of message*
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  2. #2 Re: Hilarious! Lol. Ford focus letter to previous owner. 
    GXP Level Member txslow6's Avatar
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    Got a good laugh from it. Good read. Thanks for posting.
    85 Corvette
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  3. #3 Re: Hilarious! Lol. Ford focus letter to previous owner. 
    GT Level Member PontiacL32's Avatar
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    Hahaha that is a good laugh, I'll have to show it to a guy at work with a focus.

    2005 Grand Prix GTP, 170,000 miles. Speed daddy headers with no cat, cone intake, MSD wires, flipped dog bones, transgo shift kit FOR SALE.
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