Thread: This is funny!!!

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure y ou are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Originally Posted by 2Fast4U

Have you noticed since everyone has a c amcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

NO LIE! I was sitting in the living room over the weekend and watching something on Discovery or History Channel or one of those on Big Foot and I thought to myself then isnt it amazing now that everyone and their brother has these high resolution digital cameras and camcorders we dont have more reports and footage, images of Big Foot, UFO's, etc.

I know.... My parents told me when they were younger (before me) they didn't live here in Fort Wayne yet they lived in Paris, IL and my Mom was outside (lived in the country) saw something flying in the air and flashing lights, my Dad said the same thing and he was in town when he saw it and alot of other people saw it also and no one ever figured out what it was. There was a time we were down there visiting my Grandparents and we were out in the country at night (I love looking at the stars when I go down there it's sooo dark out and no lights from a city or town for miles) we saw a flashing light and we went past a corn field and when we got past it it was gone!!! There wasn't a cloud in the sky that night!!! I just think they like Paris!!!! haha it's a small town so I think you see alot more things there then you do in a bigger city.

Originally Posted by 2Fast4U

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

I've often wondered about these.